Social media pressure; Overcoming unhealthy comparison

Recently, during my religious scrolls on X, I came across this post that said you haven’t gone through life if your google searches have not once been “online jobs that pay”. Then I remembered my first year of university. There’s this slight fear that comes with the excitement of being oh so grown when you join campus. And the fact that social media pressure makes it seem like everyone else is at a great point in life, except you. Being completely honest, I know we’d love it if life slows down a bit.

 

So while in first year, the pressure got to me. I cannot possibly tell you the amount of online writing jobs I stayed up at night searching. Every night! Trying so hard to find a source of income, which mind you, I absolutely did not need. My notifications would be full of freelance ads and online writing jobs. Most of them were obviously scams but at the time, I was too desperate to be cautious. I clicked on every single one, and waited impatiently for a chance to make money.

 

It was only my first year, I had a whole life ahead of me. I did not know the experiences that were waiting for me all through my student years.  And yet, I wanted to have everything figured out, I wanted to reach my highest. Where did this desire to have everything come from? Most of you already know this, well as long as you’ve been in university at least once in your life.

Social media, the source of comparison

Social media, besides the undeniable benefits, has played a huge part in being a negative influence. This is well known actually. But it is almost impossible to escape social media pressure when it is accessible all day, everyday. Firstly, the people we see online, Instagram or on TikTok, set standards for us who follow through their lives as long as they appear on our timeline. Most of them don’t even post their real lives. Anyway that’s a topic for another day right?

 

It is even worse when these people are our age mates. Then we start asking ourselves questions like  “what am I doing with my life?” You may think you are unambitious just because you are not as successful as your peers online. I cannot possibly count the amount of times I have heard my friends and classmates say “money is everything” right after looking up the latest car a celebrity bought and posted online. Let’s sit with how ridiculous that is for a moment.

 

Comparison is a very undermining aspect to young lives, specifically when it is between a mere comrade and an influencer/socialite/celebrity who is of the same age. In this case, it is called lateral social comparison: when you compare yourself to someone you see as an ‘equal’, a peer.

 

I almost denied comparing myself when I drowned in the pressure of making money. Meanwhile, I’d look at all these famous people and wish to have all they show. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are comparing ourselves because we manipulate it all and say they ‘inspire’ us.  I mean, they make it all seem easy, don’t they? There is healthy comparison which leaves us inspired and gives us confidence. Then there is also unhealthy comparison, which most of us young people do, it makes us feel inadequate and less likely to pursue a goal.

How does social media pressure affects us?

The moment I saw my age-mates travelling, owning cars, getting verified on social media platforms, buying houses… everything seemed possible. So the fact that I was not on the same level as them, meant I was lazy. I formed my goal around their success. At the end of the day, that is what I wanted so I started doing everything I could. I thought about posting photos, videos, just like they did. All while forgetting we’re all different. Those were never the things I wanted to do. We are all living different lives and I barely even knew theirs. What worked for them would probably not work for me. But at the time, I was not aware.

 

My point is comparison often leads you to start doing the same things as whoever you’re comparing yourself to. Coping just to keep up and be in the same place they’re in. Keep in mind, you probably have no knowledge on how to do it, or you don’t understand that we cannot have the same things.

 

See that is exactly what happens for most of us, young people. While being ‘inspired’ we forget that we are our own selves, each with different upbringing, experiences, knowledge, skills and not forgetting, time. And everyone has a different story. I mean look at all the successful celebrities. They don’t go on interviews with the same story, otherwise anyone could do it. This means we should never set our standards based on each other’s lives. Particularly social media lives. Remember, it’s not a real place.

Impacts of comparison from social media pressure

As a result of comparison, you may attract personal issues. If we don’t deal with these issues, more negative impacts are going to come your way. I think about the famous phrase from my parent. “You are young, what are you stressed about?” My mother uses this statement a lot when I complain about not knowing what to do, or feeling left out in early success. Overtime, I have come to use that same statement as a comfort because being young means living life until you can’t. You can take this and decide how you want to practice it. I personally went on a journey to discover myself and stopped focusing on other people online.

 

It’s very important to understand you should avoid measuring your lifestyle on a scale with someone else’s. In this case, people on social media. Here are negative issues we put on ourselves from comparing;

 

Lack of self worth. Comparison causes you to underestimate your own worth and you constantly wish to have someone else’s life. In the end, this will make you feel not good enough and you will think you don’t deserve anything because you’re not them. No self worth equals no self esteem. So, if not controlled, unhealthy comparison will leave you insecure with little confidence and belief in yourself.

 

In the long run, this develops to depression in a lot of young people. Because, while comparing yourself you started thinking you are not lucky, or that life is harder for you. The famous words from a lot of young Kenyan celebrities is ‘Ni God manze’. This alone makes other young people with little to no achievements to start thinking that God is not on their side, especially when comparing themselves. How will that help in achieving any kind of success?

 

Conclusion

There’s many ways we can all put this under control and generally save ourselves from unhealthy comparison. Remember, all these people online that we look up to are not a reflection of what life should be. You are living a real life. Social media is not real.

Join a discussion on social media pressure through my contact page or the comments below!