Often, I’ve thought this to be nothing but gentleness,
Even went as far as mistaking it for kindness,
When I was a kid, with only play time to worry about,
I was very popular for my toys, I had all the good blocks, the beautiful dolls.
I’d share them, even as gifts, always putting my friends first and they loved me for that,
There was this one time I gave up my favorite one. Just because my friend mentioned that they’d like it very much,
Of course, I could’ve gone so far,
But it felt as though I had needed to hear how much of a good person I am.
It was only when I saw my poor doll outside in the mud that I came to face my delusions.
My expectations that remain to be illusions I forced myself to pay for my pure heart.
And to make it much worse, I was clueless how this for me, played a huge part.
I had no idea, the worthlessness of my generous acts,
Frankly, I never wanted to give up my sweet doll.
I never once thought of coming second after I give my all -my own needs and preferences.
I never needed to be the blanket over a cold,
Why then, did I not say no, for my doll,
I acted and betrayed my heart, just so I wouldn’t be alone,
Just to please people with actions they only spoke,
I served everyone before I served myself,  
It was always “What do they think?”
While everyone was full of themselves, I was unable to identify myself,
I quickly turned my lights off for them to dream.  
I didn’t even realize the chains I formed around my ability to heal.
Still, they never picked me.