Many times we get lost in the trap of comparison and illusion of perfection, we become a shadow of ourselves,

Many times we are overburdened by the lies and negative thoughts, 

Many times we fail to realize just how wonderful we are, we give in to the doubts and let them eat us up,

Many times this is me. I let myself fall into this dark abyss.

The feeling is back,

The feeling of abandonment,

The feeling of guilt,

The feeling of not being enough,

The feeling of being too much,

Being too present, 

The feeling… consumes me, 

My mind, my thoughts. Asking questions, 

Questions like “ Who am I?”  

This feeling… which I haven’t found a name yet, breaks me,

I should be done it says,

You aren’t enough! You are too much!

Maybe the feeling is right,

I’m done being and being, 

I will embrace the darkness it brings, this time I won’t resist.

Tears streaming down my cheeks, I took a step away from the mirror,

I was too tired to argue back, I didn’t have it in me, 

I shunned away from the distorted image, unable to even face the reflection anymore, 

There was a familiar pang in my heart, 

The ache I would feel every time I felt blamed and misunderstood,  

That level of emotion that I was not a mark of superiority, yet the reverse, 

I wasn’t always worth more, Was I?

I walked closer, 

So close that its height towered over mine, 

It made me feel like an ant, in a bad way, 

That it could step on me and feel no remorse, 

“You are nothing”, it said.